I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Randomize
