I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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