I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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