So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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