you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
