I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
