Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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