You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
