can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He's a Shit stain on my heart
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
