Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
