did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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