It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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