How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
