And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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