I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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