So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
