Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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