I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
