I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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