I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
