butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
