Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
