tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
