Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
