Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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