So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
