She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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