I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
