highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Randomize
