I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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