we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
