i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
