I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
