i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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