i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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