His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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