I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
