im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
