i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
