I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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