for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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