when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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