You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
