I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
