Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
