My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
