Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
