Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
