It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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