Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
